One of the hardest things I do as a writer is share my work. And considering no story is complete without a reader, it’s kind of an essential part of the process. There are two ways for me to share, and each has their own mental hurdle.
First is getting a story to a point where I want feedback on it. I have many really great people in my life who have expressed they are willing to read my work. I’m very lucky that way. I write in bursts, though, and I don’t want to drown them all with a ton of work all at once. For example, I sent a dear human five stories this morning and begged them to only read them when they feel like it. It’s hard to ask.
That’s because I don’t want our relationship to feel transactional, you know? I don’t want to be the person in someone’s life who comes with baggage, like I’m selling essential oils or timeshares or something to them. So I tread very carefully, make sure I am profusely thankful, and try to mix up my readers so I’m not leaning too hard on any one person.
Which is a totally different sensation from submitting something for publication.
In that situation, none of my work ever feels quite finished enough. Like there’s some editing magic that would somehow make it all perfect. I know better, and even after I submit something for consideration, I’m still making changes to it. I have to lean on version history quite a bit to sort which publication got what.
Sometimes a story comes together too easily and I don’t trust it, like there should be some massive, manic editing done to it in order for it to be real. The stories that tell themselves are the ones I trust the least, and I tend to sit on them the longest.
I wish I had more swagger about it all, that I thought I was the best thing since Hemingway. I do believe that I’m good: this comes too easily to me to not have some skill. But good and great have a notable chasm between them, and I’m definitely scared of falling in.
If you have read either of the pieces I’ve posted here as stories, thank you. It was not easy to post those, either.
Sharing
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