Alice Buell Lawrence

It’s funny that I’m writing a post for a website while on an internet diet. Amuses me, at least. Let me explain.

I don’t think the amount I’m on my computer is healthy. I don’t have a smartphone, so I’m not on apps, doomscrolling constantly. I don’t have social media. And I don’t have streaming services, something that uses datacentres in the same league as AI. I’m immune to a lot of the digital pull, but I still feel like I’m on this thing too much when it should be for my writing and writing-adjacent things.

Yes, I know, this will inhibit some of my publishing ambitions. Social media following makes a big difference, bringing a built-in audience to something being published. I have to live with that choice.

I wear a normal, time-telling watch. I’m trading my Light II phone for a Light Flip when they become available next year. I receive print publications in the mail. I write letters every day. I listen to the radio.

I mention this because it has had an interesting effect on me being an observer of humanity. I’ve noted that my fiction is less frantic than a lot of what I’m reading, and I wonder if my dropping out of the conversation has something to do with that. It is interesting to watch this digital interaction from the outside, though I can see the spaces where I’m locked out, where I can’t join the conversation because of my choices.

I have friends who only communicate over Instagram or some such, so we don’t connect outside of personal interactions. I don’t like using communication networks that are both privately controlled and are used as data-hoovers. Not trying to be holier-than-thou. I believe we can make choices with our money and with our attention, and I definitely do not view Big Tech as a force for good in our society.

This life parallel to the zeitgeist is an interesting place to me. But it means I can’t relate much of the time. It means I don’t understand many digital references. I’m writing a piece related to this experiment, trying to do a thought experiment of what if we had never invented personal computers. What would the working world look like? What would home be? Would we have different forms of community? I’ve sketched out an opening scene for it so far, but it requires a lot of me sitting and thinking. Which is rather pleasant, but, again, I need to do it.

It’s still possible to live the way I have chosen, though there are hurdles. I’m curious how long I can hold out. My life feels thoughtful and intentional, though maybe that is simply idealizing my a-la-carte consumption. But something has to change. I’m reminded of a scene from my favourite film, Until the End of the World, where a blind character has been helped to see through some interesting tech. She’s seeing the world for the first time since childhood.

Her comment: “The world is not okay.”