Alice Buell Lawrence

I don’t mean it in the religious sense when I talk about faith. My relationship with any possible gods is probably best reflected as somewhere between Buddhist and the mired philosophy of the characters of Douglas Coupland’s Life After God.

I mean when you lose faith in the people around you, in the shared humanity we’re supposed to have. The town I live in seems to have taken a nasty turn. My employer is embroiled in a budgeting and PR fiasco. And my car was stolen from right outside my house. I’ve been on the job market for 10 months and, while I have interviewed all over the place, I’m yet to land anything. My writing has badly suffered as a result of all of this tumult.

And what is there to write when you lose your faith in people? I don’t write strong stories, gripping plots and the like. My work is heavy on character and setting. I want to put you somewhere rather than drag you along with me. It’s really difficult, as it turns out, to craft those characters when you grow to be suspicious of people in general.

I’m working on it. I’m still dreaming that all of my possessions are getting stolen, waking up somewhat relieved. I still fear folks are out to get me. It’s a unique flavour of paranoia.

I will slowly start working on my writing again. I have a minor project I started last year that I think I’m going to develop into something bigger, a collection of scenes that unfolds a relationship through oblique glances. Maybe there’s something there.

Out there. Somewhere else. There is rarely a panacea over the horizon, but the percentage has to be greater than zero.

Thanks.